The Judge

The Judge defined and explained.

The Judge is the universal Saboteur that afflicts everyone. It is the one that beats you up repeatedly over mistakes or shortcomings, warns you obsessively about future risks, wakes you up in the middle of the night worrying, gets you fixated on what is wrong with others or your life, etc. Your Judge is your greatest internal enemy, activates your other top Saboteurs, causes you much of your stress and unhappiness, and reduces your effectiveness. Conquer your Judge so you can achieve more while having more fun along the way. The Judge uses one or more “accomplice” Saboteurs to hijack your mind.

Description: Finds faults with self, others, and circumstances. Causes much of our disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, shame and anxiety. Activates accomplice Saboteur.

Characteristics: Self: Badgers self for past mistakes or current shortcomings.

Others: Focuses on what is wrong with others rather than appreciation. Gets into inferior/superior comparisons.

Circumstances: Insists a circumstance or outcome is “bad” rather than see it as a gift and opportunity.

Thoughts: What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you? What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome?

Feelings: ALL guilt, regret, shame, and disappointment is from the Judge. Much of anger and anxiety is instigated by the Judge.

Justification Lies: Without me pushing you, you will get lazy and complacent. Without me punishing you for mistakes, you will not learn from them and repeat them. Without me scaring you about bad future outcomes, you will not work hard to prevent them. Without me judging others, you will lose your objectivity and not protect your self-interest. Without me making your feel bad about the bad outcome, you won’t do anything to change it.

Impact on Self and Others: Judge is the master Saboteur and the original cause of much of our anxiety, distress, and suffering. It also is the cause of much of relationship conflicts.

Original Survival Function: A bias towards noticing, exaggerating, and reacting to the negative is a central survivor strategy. It reduces our chances of being surprised and harmed by unanticipated dangers to our physical and emotional survival. Because of this key function, the Judge is the universal Saboteur shared by all, regardless of circumstances of our upbringing.