Restless

Description: Restless, constantly in search of greater excitement in the next activity or constant busyness. Rarely at peace or content with the current activity.

Characteristics: 

• Easily distracted and can get too scattered.
• Stays busy, juggling many different tasks and plans.
• Seeks excitement and variety not comfort or safety.
• Bounces (escapes) from unpleasant feelings very quickly.
• Seeks constant new stimulation.

Thoughts: 

• This isn’t fulfilling.
• This next thing has got to be more exciting.
• These negative feelings suck.
• I must shift my attention to something exciting.
• Why can’t anyone keep up with me?

Feelings: 

• Impatience with what is happening now.
• Wondering what is next.
• Fear of missing out on other more worthwhile experiences.
• Restless and wanting more and more options.
• Worried that focus on any unpleasant feeling will grow and become overwhelming.

Justification Lies:

• Life is too short.
• It must be lived fully.
• I don’t want to miss out.

Impact on Self and Others: 

• Underneath the surface of fun and excitement of the Restless is an anxiety based escape from being present to this moment’s full experience, which might include dealing with unpleasant things.
• The Restless avoids a real and lasting focus on the issues and relationships that truly matter.
• Others have a difficult time keeping up with the frenzy and chaos brought by the Restless and unable to build anything sustainable around it.

Original Survival Function:

• The Restless is a strategy to find constant new sources of excitement, pleasure, and self-nurturing.
• This could be associated with early life experiences with inadequate parental nurturing or painful circumstances.
• Restless indulgence not only provided substitute self nurturing, but also an escape from having to deal with anxiety and pain.