---
title: Stickler
description: The Stickler defined and explained.
---

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# Stickler

## The Stickler defined and explained.

**Description:** Perfectionism and a need for order and organization taken too far.

**Characteristics:** 

- Punctual, methodical, perfectionist.
- Can be irritable, tense, opinionated, sarcastic.
- Highly critical of self and others.
- Strong need for self-control and self-restraint.
- Works overtime to make up for others’ sloppiness and laziness.
- Is highly sensitive to criticism.

**Thoughts:** 

- Right is right and wrong is wrong.
- I know the right way.
- If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all.
- Others too often have lax standards.
- I need to be more organized and methodical than others so things get done.
- I hate mistakes.

**Feelings:** 

- Constant frustration and disappointment with self and others for not living up to ideal standards.
- Anxious that others will mess up the order and balance I have created.
- Sarcastic or self-righteous overtones.
- Suppressed anger and frustration.

**Justification Lies:** 

- This is a personal obligation.
- It is up to me to fix whatever mess I encounter.
- Perfectionism is good, plus it makes me feel better about myself.
- There is usually a clear right and clear wrong way to do things.
- I know how things should be done and must do the right thing.

**Impact on Self and Others:** 

- Causes rigidity and reduces flexibility in dealing with change and others’ different styles. Is a source of ongoing anxiety and frustration.
- Causes resentment, anxiety, self-doubt, and resignation in others, who feel continually criticized and resign themselves that no matter how hard they work they will never please the Stickler.

**Original Survival Function:**

- The Stickler offers a way of quieting the constant voice of self judgment and fear of others’ judgments through trying to be perfect.
- If you do what is right, you will be beyond interference and reproach by others.
- Perfection and order brings a sense of temporary relief.
- Might have generated a sense of order in the middle of a chaotic family dynamic, or earned acceptance and attention from emotionally distant or demanding parents by standing out as the irreproachable perfect kid.

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